You have my sympathy. It sucks having those hemorrhoids come snooping around. Especially when they bring the Daemon around to show they actually do sheep-herder calls. Do like me, tell them to GTFOH....
A guy I knew had served in the army and had a great attitude. If someone came around and he didn't think they were gonna be decent to him he would say....GTFOH. For instance, when I was a teen I worked at Whataburger. One day the bigshots from Corpus Cristi came by to do an inspection of the local stores. Well this army guy was working that day too and he said he knew what he would tell these bigshots as soon as they walked in.
He would just say in his strong Alabama accent, "You wanna come in here and be nice to us 'n give us a raise....FINE. But if you're gonna come in here 'n give us a hard time, try 'n fire us, just turn around 'n get the FU** outta here...." He was hysterical! He also did that with customers who came in around closing time. Like if he had already scraped and cleaned the grill...wooo hooo forget it. He would never say it to the person but once I told him, "Hey Mike, got a customer coming in...." And he had just finished cleaning the grill and poked his head up and said, "aww. shit you're kiddin'!" Then he saw the couple ambling up the walkway and he said, "You wanna soda? Fine! You want a hamburger? Turn around 'n get the FU** outta here...."
So, when the hemorrhoids come just tell them to GTFOH~